Chronic illness detoxing
I am a huge advocate for the power of sharing the highs and low of living with chronic illness. Hense me writing a blog about my life now I guess.
It took a while for me to out myself/ hang out my dirty laundry/show the real me. Trust me when I say it takes great strength to share your emotions, your ordinary life, your illness.
Contrary to what some believe, it is not us being needy.
Wowzer, that emotion is not in my vocabulary!
For me, during the early stages, I hid away. I tried to continue as normal for so long, using the days between flares as times when I would allow outsiders into my life. I hid the painful days.
I felt alienated from my then current circle of friends and colleagues.
My passion for social media ended. I no longer enjoyed the process or the people. People on facebook irritated the $%*&! out of me. I longed for a "Fcuk off " button next to the "You are chatting Sh*t" button. Sadly this option at the time was not available. So I deleted my Facebook account of 4,000 "friends" and my Instagram page of a few hundred "friends".
Do you ever feel like you just need time-out from Bull Sh*t internet world?
At this time, I did feel like I was alone in my understanding of how I felt in real life and internet world. My time masquerading as a normal, hiding true me zapped the sparkle from my soul.
I needed to find some people like me and detox the frenemies from the true friends.
During this period, it is normal to be unsure of who you are.
- Would I recover and become old me again?
- Would this illness become life threatening?
- Would I lose all contact with the outside world?
- Are there people out there who are just like me and understand?
Many people go through this phase of transition.
I call this chronic illness detoxing.
Imagine you are on a healthy lifestyle change and you remove all the crap from your body that no longer enriches your body. This is a way to remove the people who will not enrich you through illness.
Sad but necessary.
I never felt sadness, bitterness or a loss for the people who did not make it.
They were prominent during the last chapter.
But now is a new book and new chapter.
Even if you have a small handful of people within your life who understand you and make you feel like you can remove the mask, that is a true gift from the Chronic Poorly Pumpkin Goddess.
- When/if you do delete your Facebook and Instagram, make a little list of the people you want to keep as it is tedious finding them again!
- Grow a thicker skin and keep your circle positive, if people do not make you happy, press the delete button.
- Don't feel like you have to answer personal messages immediately. Alternatively have a small pre-written message you can just copy and paste such as "Thank you for the message, I am not feeling too good at the moment so will answer properly once I am, thanks for understanding x" or have a word photo to post ready. Like this one, (feel free to steal this image.)
- Listen to your inner compass regarding when is the right time to come out of the chronic illness closet. Also, there is not point coming out of the closet if you do not know who you are yet. First I had to teach myself who I was. I had to understand my illness, how it affected me and become friends with the new me. Blog Archive: Coming Out of the Fibro Closet
- DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! You never asked to become ill.
- Your loved ones will not understand you or your illness if you never share it with them.
- Don't judge people by your own standards, yes I would google and read about a friend's illness but if others don't then don't take it personally.
- Explain to people how it feels when you always have to cancel arrangements. This blog I wrote previously may help. Blog Archive: Sick of inviting your chronic friend out?
- You are not your diagnosis you are a wonderful new special person with so many amazing qualities.
Embrace the new chapter.